A note to life

Next time you are feeling generous,
keep your lemons to yourself.
If you are freely distributing fruit,
I would much prefer grapes.
For with these grapes
and ample time,
we can sit on my back porch
and get drunk on the wine.
And then when you are good
and drunk;
that’s when I’ll take full
advantage of you.

**

Failed Remorse

I should be able to enjoy
this ocean air
without a cigarette
between my lips.
I should be able to soak in
this endless view
without dilated pupils
and a numb mind.
I should be able to
taste, smell
the salt in the air
instead of whiskey
burning my throat,
cocaine, my nose.
…..
I started this poem
to apologize for bad
habits, to feel
remorse and
make new vows.
But, as I watch
the rest of humanity
circle the drain…
Fuck it.
This whiskey tastes good.

**

Junkie

I can focus on
nothing but the
syringe
on the sink ledge
before me.
I catch a glimpse
of my cold, emaciated
body in the mirror.
Eyes, empty, black,
transparent.
I look away.
Roaches crawl across
skeletal feet,
sending chills
down arms
and spine.
I don’t mind.
Flesh swallows
the needle.
It hurts.
The fiery serum
floods my veins.
Slowly seeping through me,
never to escape.
But with this pain
comes solace.
And with this solace,
Finally,
my mind
may
     begin

to

               wander.