Bingo Jed had a light on

i duck the land lord as he cleans the evicted neighbors home his cousin follows him around and they chat noisily i have a feeling they will try to run into me as I walk my dog my dog is interested in visiting them so i have to reign him in duck inside close the door, lock it for good measure i avoid the landlord because it’s time to pay rent and i get paid tomorrow and rent technically could be in his hand now but, i don’t have it yet why would i? i don’t make enough to have it on demand i’m not that kind of person

i apply to jobs all over the world
marsielles, Hawaii, Taiwan, New Zealand, San Bernadino, the armpit of
texas i feel tears well in my eyes as i examine the requirements in my
field i’m outcompeted easily my six years of nose to grindstone yield
nothing i have the phd but no trail of success no teaching philosophy no
letter of intention no five year plan no lab skills of gravity no
research goals i’m not that kind of guy

suddenly a friend whispers in my ear
you’re not alone
there’s problems and there’s expenses
and the folks are coming around
and species may be continuous
and you’re not alone
and folks are coming around
and i check the website
and I apply some more to jobs I don’t understand

bingo jed had a light on
don’t bring down, brrrrruce
you can’t hide your lion eyes
people with jobs file by
people who are living their lives paying their bills and not worried
about eviction

i have an idea for research
at first it’s just this little inkling
then it grows into a small passion
then it’s all I think about for several days on end
I get the papers, I’m in the library
I’m writing professors in the field
a few days go by
then a few weeks
nothing much happens
i let it go
i need a job.
i’ll come back to it one day, when i can pay rent.

what if hawaii calls
hawaii interviews me
what if hawaii likes what i have to offer
unlikely as it is
what if it happens
how can i go there
how can i move
how can i relocate to hawaii
zero savings
grad stipends don’t lend themselves to much in the way of savings i
picture Elvis cavorting around with a carload of princesses in a
pineapple grove sell it all and swim

**

Phallus Dei (homage to Mailer on the day of his death)

Glissandro guitar love gong black-eyed bruiser pose muscular treatment
fused
editor of one why are we in Vietnam armies of the night and peeling
onions

Robert Lowell miffed and stiffed rocking back on theatrical
heels at the urinal Gary Gilmore’s eyes in far away poverty USA

Roosevelt on the lawn wrestling Yuki Tani fascinated with football and

Mark E Smith’s calling of the scores insert punchline here the one you
are reading for neon colors and pop tart harmonies

Elsa sucks toothpastout of the toobe while the rest of us
waste waste waste at least not no damned Hannibal Barca

gong gong gong luv gong guru guru guru

just when what we need is a statesman an economist
a rationalist of the foundation
we get a preacherman

**

refusenik

Imagine a train traveling on a railroad track, upahead
there’s a split in the track, in your hand is the means to control which
way the train goes - and you can see clearly on the right a damsel is
tied by Snidely Whiplash - to the left another train heads toward you
operated by a person who resembles you in every detail and in fact, is
in charge of the same switch you are which would deliver THAT train down
the track to run over the damsel-in-distress, or crash headlong into
you. It turns out that a fly is flying up the length of the train and
relative to a grazing cow observing the whole situation that fly travels
it’s own velocity PLUS that of the train - minus the velocity of the
train heading toward you, minus the velocity of the fly flying up the
length of THAT train - so that their velocities indeed actually cancel,
relative to that cow. Now imagine that damsel tied to the tracks is one
you quite phant’sy. That her quivering boots (bound together at her
ankles) are a pair you yourself bought her to celebrate her birthday,
size 7.5, and on that birthday you kissed her cheek, and promised that
if ever Snidely managed to tie her to a RR track you’d do all you could
to help her out. And that, perhaps if you run her over you delete a line
of offspring possible from her that would lead to the birth of Peter
Graves. The on coming train bears down, you stare breifly into your own
eyes, mirrored in that switch puller’s face - knowing that if you do
nothing you don’t feel responsible, but if you take responsibility
somehow the situation becomes caused by you. Your hand brings about the death and destruction of either a lovely damsel who begets Peter Graves
(entertain of millions) or yourself and an exact train replica exactly
like the one you are standing on driving . . . Imagine that. Now imagine
you have a half full flask of chocolate milk.