I never was sure whether or not my younger sister, June, was really the crazy one in our family or whether she was just making fools out of everyone. Mama said the nervous genes came from Daddy’s side of the family. Daddy, on the other hand, is certain bad nerves comes from Mama’s side of the family. In our family, everything has a simple explanation.Mama says my sister, June, just has her ways and Daddy is certain she’ll grow out of whatever she has. But other folks disagree. I have overheard the church ladies saying Mamma’s not a good parent cause she can’t make June behave. The school principal insisted that mother take June to see a shrink. The doctors at the mental health clinic, or mental health factory as June called it put her on Tegretol, Thorazine, lithium, and God knows what else. June took her medicine for a few days and didn’t seem like herself. June admitted that she’d hide the pills under her tongue and spit them out because they made her feel dizzy and dull.June did rescue all the Sunday school students from boredom. Her favorite activity at church was to hide in the bathroom stalls and later run down the halls repeating the gossip she heard. My sister had an uncanny talent for finding out stuff about people and getting the church people into fights with each other. June also enjoyed prank calling the ladies in the choir and reporting her discoveries. Finding out about other peoples’ business was a talent she inherited from Granny Lancaster, our paternal grandmother who kept a spy diary in her car and kept very detailed records about everyone. After our parents divorced, Mama decided to go back home to South Carolina. She moved into the house where she grew up. June got a lot worse after we moved. Mama tried washing June’s mouth out with soap and even spanked her with the donkey whip but nothing but my sister would only behave for a few hours. Mama kept saying June would eventually grow out of her weird moods, but Daddy insisted my sister needed more discipline and harder courses. Daddy was convinced he could fix her if he got her out of the SC school system and sent her to a tough private school. Although I was only two years older than my sister, I often felt like June was apart of another generation. My sister had no interest in Michael Jackson jackets or Izod shirts. There were times when I tried to deny we were related. June and I had to share a room together while mama was fixing up the house. There were still smoke stains all over the walls. All day long we had to listen to banging. I usually pretended to read while June rambled on about silly stuff. “I’m trying to study for Christ sakes.” “So, I’m practicing for my circus show. Watch.” June jumped from my bed to her bed. She jumped higher and higher until she almost scraped the ceiling then she lunged at imaginary lions. ”Stop acting
like an idiot, ” I yelled. “If you don’t straighten up you’ll l wind up on welfare.” June jumped onto my bed and pretended I was a part of her three ring circus. I smacked her hard until she fell back. Then she started crying. ”I’m sorry,” I said. “But I’m trying to read. “ June looked at me with a red face then climbed back on her bed. I wasn’t sure whether or not the smack or the welfare comment hurt her the most. Welfare was about the worst insult on could throw at anybody in my family. The following weekend mama sent us to stay with Granny and Pawpaw’s.. I had mixed feelings about staying there. Granny got a gleam in her eyes after Pawpaw left to do some work for the church. Then she announced that we were going to a different kind of church service. I generally hated going to any kind of a church, whenever I complained about being over churched, Granny would say the devil was trying to talk me out of going. June, on the other hand, was delighted we were going to church, as church was always such a fine audience for her antics. After we ate our Nuttybuddy ice cream cones that afternoon, we climbed in Granny’s white Oldsmobile and went to the Pentecostal church. I loved the leather smell of Granny’s car. Granny giggled like a mischievous girl when we passed Pawpaw’s black Volkswagon in the Baptist church parking lot. “Girls, this is our little secret. You’re pawpaw’s a good man, but there are some things he doesn’t understand about the Bible. We’ll just tell your pawpaw we went shopping.” I looked out the windows at the old buildings we passed and big yards full of spring green oaks. Dogwood gleamed through rose violet and white. I would rather be in backyard picking crabapples, so Granny could make some more jam. When we got to the church we sat in the back row. The Pentecostal church was right behind Winn Dixie. It would be unlikely that anyone would spot Granny’s car there. The church looked larger on the inside. Maybe it was the huge painting of Jesus on the back wall. Granny told us it was more Christian to sit in the back. I started shivering, not from the cold, but from the idea of being in weird church with June and Granny. The last time Granny got caught sneaking off to the holy rollers, he restricted her driving privileges for a week. The pews were shiny and the pulpit suddenly looked large and glowing to me. The place smelled like a combination of wood and cologne. One woman with long dark hair looked like a vampire. First everybody prayed, we sang hymns, and the preacher talked about how Jesus healed the blind and the sick. He also talked about how you had to lose yourself to find yourself and die to be born again. Reverend Wright was a short, chunky man with a shiny bald head. His greeted us as we walked into the sanctuary. His eyes were so light they weren’t hazel at all.
“You must die to yourself. Jesus wants everything.” Even though he sounded convincing, his eyes looked sad. “I know all of yawl think you’re such nice folks. But you know what? Good ole Helen Highsmith who sings in the choir is gonna be in hell right next to Hitler if she isn’t saved.” I tried not to look at June knowing we both would crack up. I never thought of the devil having everyone’s name in alphabetical order. Granny started mumbling things under her breath which made it even harder not to laugh. After the sermon we all sang, “Just as I am without one doubt to save my soul from one dark blot.” People all around me started swaying and shaking. I thought they were all having grand mal seizures. Several shaggy headed ladies waddled down to the front when we sang,” Just As I am A fat lady who sat on the front pew started running around the pews. I had to bite my lip. I seriously considered pulling a June by counting to ten in French. “Oh Jesus. You are so good to us,” the preacher chanted. Granny cried. I clinched my fists. “Is there anyone here who needs spiritual healing? Friends, I feel Christ’s power in this room.” His face reddened.. “The Bible tells us if we have faith we can move mountains. We can heal the sick.”June was sitting on the other side of me laughing and talking. No one gave her any funny looks because she seemed to fit right in for once in her life. Granny leaned over me. “Oh, go down June. ” Tears rolled down Granny’s face. Granny was always crying over everyone in the family cause she wasn’t convinced that any of us were really saved. Granny started wringing her hands as though her body could not contain her. June finally bolted down to the front and Granny followed. Suddenly June was surrounded by a bunch of people laying hands on her. “Demon, I command thee to come out.” June mumbled something to herself. June’s face turned red. Then she started groaning as though she was constipated. Granny cried then she suddenly got this feral look in her eyes, “Demon I command thee to leave this earthy vessel. ” Several ladies gasped. “In the name of Jesus, Demon come out!” chanted Revered Wright. June’s whole body shook.Everyone looked like they were in great pain. I guess it has to do with that saying of losing yourself to find yourself. Granny continued to cry while The preacher spoke to June. Then June started jumping around and jabbering nonsensical stuff. . The preacher walked back to the altar. “June tell us what Jesus did for you.”"I’ve accepted Jesus,” June said. “I’m healed. ” Everybody hugged June like she had just won a major award. A young woman wearing a white dress with her hair sticking out around her face came up to June and hugged her. More people began to gather around June.. June beamed. For the first time in her life everyone appeared to accept her. Granny was crying and shouting. The preacher shouted, “Praise Jesus. His love is in this room tonight. Ooh I’ve never felt the Spirit like I have tonight.” June tried real hard to be good after her “salvation.” She brought her Bible to school and preached to people. She still laughed all the time but felt like it was the Holy Spirit instead of demons. I wasn’t sure there was much of a difference.After a few weeks, her salvation seemed to start wearing off. It got to the point where she just wanted to stay in our room, read the Bible and pray. After a couple of weeks, June swallowed a bottle of aspirin and had to have her stomach pumped. On the way to the emergency room she kept saying the demons came back. A part of me felt bad for my little sister, but another part of me wanted her to go away. I was so tired of having to defend her or answer questions. I was also tired of everyone expecting me to be the “normal” kid. Mama told me I should be happy because I was sensible. No, it was the other way around. No matter how bad things got, June could reasons to laugh and her bizarre logic made sense in a strange way. Maybe she was laughing at all of us. She also didn’t care what anyone thought. June was June regardless of the situation. Granny met us in the waiting room. I sat with her while Mama and June sat in a small room.After June had her stomach pumped they sent her to the psychiatric ward. Granny, Mama and I followed her over there because June was scared. A thin nurse lead us a room at the end of a long hall. The walls were covered with beige carpet and there was a camera in the corner of the room. June sat down on the thin bed and cried. That’s the first time I ever really heard my sister cried. Mama’s lower lip trembled and Granny looked at the floor. Then I felt my own lip quiver. I looked out the barred window and bit my lips. I left with Granny while Mama talked to the nurses. “You know Wanda, the Lord’s convicted me.” “For what? “I couldn’t imagine Granny telling a lie. “I faked speaking in those tongues,” she said. “Well you were just trying to help June. It was a good lie.” Granny and I walked outside In the increasingly angled light then everything faded into a dark blue.