The lavender scent that hung heavy in the air and the way the room turned ice cold like January in July told me Mama was back. The summer she took to haunting me was so hot I thought I’d die just walking across the room. But that was what I got for living in Butter Creek Cove, Tennessee. The mountains surrounded the cove, stealing all the coolness before it ever reached us. All I could do that summer was dream of leaving home and going into the mountains, maybe over them. Somehow I knew the air up there would make me a brand new person. Earlier that year we had a chance to leave. A place on Black Mountain was up for the taking because of the owner’s death and no next of kin. I’d worked hard for three years and offered Daddy the money so we could move, start a new life. He just spent it on new parts for his moonshine still.

 

I figured Mama showed up that summer because my own spirit was bumping into every wall in our little house, or it could have been Maynard Conner. I had this big old pressure building in my chest, and any day it was going to explode. Maynard was a carnival boy, who broke his leg—some say saving a little old woman from a runaway elephant—and lost his job for the summer. I took one look at him out at Daddy’s still, turning that bottle up and wondered if I could somehow make him work for me. I’d done spent enough time looking through Mama’s eyes to figure out that she pulled the whole load on our farm. Of course a person can know something without really KNOWING until they walked in the other person’s shoes. Mama’s shoes were awful big.

 

Mama had big dreams. We’d sit on the porch in the evening, just me and her, talking about how one day we’d have a fine new home and new clothes. Of course we had to get the money first, or as Mama said, our ship had to come in. The only problem with that thought was we were way too far from any water big enough for a ship. All that took place before a bad heart stopped Mama in the field one day, and all our dreams just melted away into that dry ground. It was the worst crop we ever had. When I found Mama, she was already cold, and a big hawk circled around, dipping and soaring, gliding in the stiff breeze. He’d visited my dream the night before, where he flew right up to my window and watched me sleep. He hung there flapping his wings without moving. Hawks can’t do that, but in my dream he did. He gave me a thought, just handed it over free.

 

You’ll find your strength.

 

So I knew why that hawk was circling overhead. I had to be strong. What else could I do? Go all soft and weepy? That just wasn’t in the tea leaves for me.

 

Mama’s presence could be right calm, and when it was, I wrapped myself up in her and relaxed a little. Daddy, he didn’t even notice. He was so full of whisky it had turned him inside out. He told me I had my head up in the clouds and a good swift kick in the ass would bring me back to earth. He just had all kinds of wisdom. One afternoon he came in for his dinner, which was real unusual since he was on a liquid diet.

 

“That Maynard is a fine boy. He can drink just like a man. He’s done got him so many girls he can’t keep count. Fine boy if you ask me.”

 

I figured mama got all stirred up over that comment. Seeing how she knew who one of the girls was. But I didn’t worry none. I had leaving on my mind. Anyway I could find.

 

Maynard worked on the next farm over for poor Widow Bryson. Her last name came from a city over on the other side of the Great Smoky Mountains, but that don’t have a darn thing to do with this story, other than the widow was real lonely and way too young to be made a widow by Mr. Bryson, who got himself killed in a poker game. Folks watched this arrangement real close, but they didn’t have a thing to worry over because Maynard visited Polly Elk every day. She was part Cherokee and was considered the prettiest girl in the cove. Her daddy said she was going across the reservation to marry as soon as she finished her schooling. Me, I just wished I had a daddy that would take me out of that cove.

 

I watched Maynard Connor and decided he was the one. I didn’t no more love him than there was a man on the moon, eating cheese. But one boy is as good as the next and I was getting out. He’d come around when Polly’s daddy ran him off. Until then I could wait. I was real patient. I’d learned how to lay still each night in my bed, so Daddy would think I was asleep. Some nights it took hours before he passed out. I wasn’t good at ignoring Mama’s spirit sweeping around my room at night all frantic like a bunch of hornets after a rock hit their hive. Hornets were the meanest insects alive. They don’t know how to give up until they find something or someone to plant their stingers in. One time I watched a girl get stung over and over just cause she kept flapping her arms. Mama was stirred up about something. I tried to calm her, but it didn’t do much good. I told her I knew what I was doing, but she just went kept up the ruckus. Then Shirley, the two-headed doctor—that was a person who conjured spells—came knocking at my door early one morning.

 

Most folks were right scared of Shirley. Daddy said she could charm the soul right out of a person and he stayed clear of her. It was a good thing he had left for the still that morning.

 

Me, I wasn’t no more afraid of her and her so-called magic than I was Mama’s sweet spirit. If the truth be told, nothing much scared me except a life with my drunk daddy. Now that ain’t good Christian thinking, but God knew my thoughts and we were fine, me and him.

 

Shirley stood on our front porch, one hand on her hip, the other pulling at her curly black hair. She was right pretty with her copper colored skin until she opened her mouth. All her front teeth were gone or rotting, and the words that came out were sometimes fouler than her breath.

 

“Hi there, Miss Shirley, what brings you visiting?” I smoothed my apron.

 

“Jeannie Ray, you’re mama is about to drive me slap out of my mind.”

 

I had the urge to just laugh in her face. My mama wouldn’t be caught dead at Shirley’s house, but I was right good at acting. I thought about going on stage someplace big like Asheville. That’s on the other side of the mountains in North Carolina. I could make a name for myself. I had no doubt, so I stood on that porch and waited like a spider I’d seen spinning her web outside my window. The threads were fine, almost sparkling when full of dew. That one little spider worked all day on details when one puff of wind could destroy her work.

 

“You’re mama’s spirit is hell-bent on you learning the spells. Says you’ll need them in your life.”

 

This news made me as excited as Daddy when forced to enter the sanctuary of Butter Creek Cove Baptist Church. “That’s just the nicest thought, Miss Shirley, but I’m not a bit interested. I got me some plans, and I ain’t going to need any old magic.”

 

“Jeannie Ray, I wish it was up to me, but it just ain’t. You’re mama’s done thrown her a big old fit at my house one too many times in the last few days. I’m going to honor her wishes if for no other reason than to get her the hell out.” She narrowed her eyes to slits and just dared me to think otherwise. “And, if you think all that sliding up to Maynard Connor is going to get you somewhere, you’re dead wrong. He has an eye for the ladies, don’t care which one. I’m here to tell you that. He’ll leave here when his leg mends and the carnival comes back to Knoxville.”

 

“How you know so much about him, Miss Shirley.” I added me another fine sparkling thread to my web.

 

“That ain’t a bit of your business, young lady. He’s just a mountain boy, came from Black Mountain, without a smart thought in his head. If he was smart, he’d go on back home where to that big farm his family has instead of stomping across the country. But you know he’s real hard to read, probably because he’s a carnival man; they’re sneaky.” She looked at me. “You just stay away from his kind. You’re young and don’t need the likes of him.”

 

It did cross my mind to go right ahead and pitch me a big old fit, but something inside said just maybe throwing spells would work for me. I might just find me some of that strength the old hawk offered, or if nothing else, a little of wisdom of that spider. “When do we start my learning?”

 

Shirley smiled real big, showing all those gaps. “You’re mama’s going to be right proud of you.”

 

“You know my daddy don’t tolerate no magic.”

 

“You just leave him to me.” She came real close; so close I could smell her breath that put me in mind of old gutted fish. “You’ll be the boss when you learn to conjure, Jeannie Ray.” She backed up like she knew I couldn’t take her breath much longer. “Of course, you have to use magic for the good of others. Ain’t no place in this cove for someone who uses spells for their own good.” She winked like we had some kind of special shared knowledge.

 

“Who taught you spells, Shirley?”

 

She looked at me like she might run right through me. “My mama was colored, in case you didn’t know already, and my daddy was white with lots of money, real big in the city where I was birthed, New Orleans. His mean old wife ran Mama out of town. She was real fearful we’d steal something she’d lost a long time before. Mama had the last say by hexing that mean woman. But you see all that was caused by my daddy. That’s what men are good for, Jeannie Ray. They’re not worth a plug nickel. All they’re good for is hanging out on a limb over a churning river just to watch them squirm. Of course they be all right to cuddle to on a cold winter night. That’s if you keep your mind and don’t go hanging your soul on them. Anyway, my mama taught me her hoodoo and that’s what I’m going to teach you.”

 

“What’s hoodoo?” Sounded like some kind of kiddy show.

 

“Oh it’s a little of this and some of that, and big bunch thrown in just for fun.” She laughed so hard she grabbed her side.

 

“I’m not so sure I need all that.”

 

“Might as well learn it all. You’re learning from one of the best.” She turned to leave. “I’ll see you at dawn tomorrow. Come to my place. We got a bunch of work to do.”

 

When Daddy came home that evening, I could tell he had a burr up his butt. “I don’t have no tolerance for spooks or such, Jeannie girl.” He took him a long swig off his bottle.

 

I smelled lavender right strong behind. “You smell that?”

 

“All I smell is cabbage and pinto beans. Damn I’m sick of that mess.”

 

I thought of dumping the whole pot of beans on his head but I knew nothing would be gained except satisfaction. “If you’d give me some of that money you make off that whisky, I could go to town and buy some good meat.” I’d heard Mama say the same thing many of times with the same results.

 

A flash of light lit up the room, and I tasted salty blood in my mouth. I took a couple of steps back, touched my jaw, and spoke around the blood. “I’m going to learn some magic from Shirley.”

 

“I won’t have her roaming around here.”

 

“You tell her then.” I was out of reach.

 

“You ain’t got a bit of sense just like your mama, just about as worthless. I’ll tell you like I told your mama. I won’t have you messing around with that two-headed woman.”

 

“You go tell her that to her face.” I looked at him real hard before I spit my blood out the back door. Mama had been going to see Shirley. I thought I knew everything about her. When I looked back in the kitchen, I saw fear playing around the wrinkles on Daddy’s face. He drank him another big swig off his bottle. Sometime around dark he passed out and that was a pure blessing.

 

That night I dreamed Mama stood at the end of my bed. It wasn’t no spirit. It was her beautiful face free of all the lines on her forehead. She wore a daisy in her hair. On her shoulder sat the hawk like they were real friend. One of her hands was closed like she might have a treasure. She came real close and opened her fingers. On her palm sat that spider I’d watched spinning its web outside my window. Now I got real scared cause them kind of spiders were full of venom, just a pretty little brown spider. “Look at the details, Jeannie Ray. You got to get all the details.”

 

I laid there staring at her trying not to blink. I knew she’d never hurt me and if that spider was on her hand, she’d done tamed her. I just wanted my mama.

 

She smiled real pretty, closed her fingers, and turned away, walking right through the wall.

 

One big sloppy sob built in my chest, and then I woke up. I so bad wanted her to be real. Daddy snored in the front room. I closed my eyes and pulled the sheet over my head. After ten minutes or so, I had to kick it off so I could get a breath of fresh air and cool my body. Finally I drifted off to sleep.

 

The next morning I was up when the world was still gray and soft like a new born kitten sleeping in a ball. I scooted out the door without Daddy even stirring.

 

Shirley was waiting just like she promised, standing on her front porch with her hand on her hip. “You seen your mama last night.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“She warned you about that Maynard didn’t she?”

 

Now, I could of told the truth that was a lot more interesting, but I decided to keep that dream my secret. “Yep, I guess it could have been a warning. She had a flower in her hair.”

 

“What kind?” Shirley balled her fingers into a fist and relaxed them again.

 

“Just a simple daisy. Nothing special.”

 

She took a step backward. “Lord child don’t you understand a thing? I thought your were smarter than that.”

 

“Well, a flower is a flower, Miss Shirley. I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”

 

“I guess I’m going to have to start all the way from the very beginning with you, Jeannie Ray. You don’t have a bit of natural talent.” She shrugged. “Daisies are the oldest flowers in the world.”

 

“And what you know about the world?” I just wanted to laugh.

 

“I know daisies are considered the flowers of sight. They lets a person see better, real clear like. Your mama wants you to see something. Did she say anything?”

 

“I don’t see how one daisy in Mama’s hair means all that stuff and what does it have to do with Maynard?”

 

Shirley slapped the side of her leg. “She’s telling you Maynard ain’t a bit good for you.”

 

“How do you figure that?”

 

“I know. Who’s the one here that knows the magic? Now quit your sassing and let’s get to work.”

 

“Why don’t you have you a man, Miss Shirley? They sure ain’t beating down your door.”

 

“Men stays away from me because I know more than they ever dreamed. They come visiting, Jeannie Ray. My power is just too strong for these silly county boys.” She looked at me real hard. “Do you really want a man who has Polly Elk and the widow spinning in circles?”

 

“What about you, Miss Shirley? Does he have you?”

 

She just laughed and turned away. The subject was dropped, and not even me with my smart mouth had the nerve to bring up what was eating me alive from the inside out.

 

I spent the next few weeks working hard to learn all Shirley knew. I watched Maynard from a far has my plan form real simple lie. One afternoon late in August, I was on my way home and saw Polly and Maynard sneaking out to the schoolhouse. I was thinking about all them spells I’d been learning and how magic was a funny kind of power that could be felt out better than harnessed. I followed them and peeked through the window of that old school that passed as our church on Sundays. There they were all over each other close to the pulpit or teacher’s desk, whichever. Maynard kissed Polly real hard and touched her behind. I almost laughed. What did I know of kissing men? When he started removing her dress, I left. It wasn’t decent to watch such things. On the way home I thought out a real nice spell. See, it dawn me what my dream of Mama was all about. It was about getting what you really want and having the strength to do it. On the way home, I picked me some daisies and scattered the petals all over my bed. Then I wrote Maynard’s name and another a hundred times on a paper and folded the paper ten times and put it under my pillow.

 

Around sundown here came Maynard rumbling down that dusty road. He looked here and there as if he were killing time rather than heading home. That’s how he noticed me.

 

“Well, well, Miss Jeannie Ray, you’re a sight to linger on.”

 

I just smiled. I knew he said that to all the women. “I’ve been waiting right here for you. I need you to come fix my bed. One of the ropes has broken, and Daddy, well you know Daddy.’

 

“I don’t mind helping you a bit.” His smile was real smooth, and I understood why the widow had thrown him out of her house. I almost believed it too.

 

“I just been dying to get that old bed fix. It’s so saggy.”

 

He looked at me kind of funny like he might not be so dumb after all or he was losing some of his footing. “You doing ok, Jeannie Ray?”

 

“I’m fine, Mr. Connor.” I came real close.

 

He took a step back like he sensed danger. “Why you really out here on the road? A bear might come along. They love twilight.”

 

It was words like ‘twilight’ that allowed Maynard to have his way with so many women. “I ain’t afraid of no bear.” I touch his arm real soft, keeping my the fingers on my other hand gently closed.

 

“You looking pretty, Jeannie Ray. What’s so different about you?”

 

“I learned a lot in the past few weeks, Maynard. I know what I want.”

 

He looked at me funny. “What you learn?”

 

“I learned how to throw spells. Do you know anything about conjuring spells?” I was right close to his ear.

 

He half grinned. “I ain’t heard of conjuring since I let Black Mountain.”

 

“Why’d you ever leave that mountain and come here, Maynard?”

 

He stared down at my lips. “I know one thing, you’re going to get yourself kissed if you ain’t careful.”

 

I could smell strawberries on his breath. “My kisses are spells.” I threw both my arms around his neck.

 

“What you want to put a spell on me for. You still mad cause I ain’t be back to your bedroom?”

 

I counted to ten in my mind. “I aiming to leave here. I’m going to Black Mountain. There’s a farm there just for the having.” I was a spider weaving her web. Why in only a few minutes I could weave several rows of fine sparkling thread, around and around and around. I wasn’t even going to need my bed for this spell. I opened my fingers and brushed her real gentle like. I could have sworn she smiled as she crawled down his shirt like we were one and the same. He kissed me real hard.

 

***

 

Funny thing about spider bites is people don’t even feel them. He sent Daddy for me at the end of the next day.

 

“Maynard’s is in a real bad way. Says you put some kind of spell on him. Wants you to come over to the Widow’s barn. I don’t think that woman gives a darn if he lives or dies.” Daddy looked at me real hard. “You didn’t put no spell on him did you?”

 

“I don’t tolerate conjuring.”

 

He watched me to see if I needed a good smacking and then he nodded. “Go on over there.”

 

Maynard was white as a ghost and shivering like we’d done got our first snowfall. When he saw me, he half smiled. “Take this spell off girl.”

 

“This ain’t no spell of mine.”

 

I stood real close to where he lay.

 

“I’ll do anything you want. I’m sorry I had my way and moved on to Polly.”

 

“What about the widow? And Miss Shirley?”

 

“I can’t help it.”

 

“It’s wrong. Down right wrong, but like I said this ain’t no spell of mine.”

 

“What’s wrong with me then?”

 

“Roll over.” I pulled up his shirt and there was what I expected. A nice big spider bite. “Looks like a spider bite.”

“What can I do?”

“You give me the twenty dollars and your horse and I’ll go fetch Miss Shirley. She’s the only one who can remove this spell.”

“Oh Lord, she’ll kill me.”

“Ain’t my problem, Maynard.”

“Ok.” He pulled the money out of his wallet and handed it to me. “My horse is in the stall. You be right careful with her.”

“You don’t have a thing to worry about.”

I saddled that horse just a laughing the whole time and rode myself on over to Miss Shirley’s. She was standing on the porch like she’d know I was coming.

“What you doing with Maynard’s horse?”

“He gave it to me. I convinced him how wrong he’d done me.”

“I can’t believe that.”

“It’s true.”

“What you here for?”

“He’s right sick. A spider bit him. Looks like it was one of them poison brown spiders.”

“Oh Lord.” She looked all worried for a minute.

“He’s talking out of his head. Said I put a spell on him.”

“I’ll go. Is he in that Widow Bryson’s house?”

“Nope. In the barn where he belongs.”

“I’ll go.”

“I knew you would.” I turned the horse to leave. “Oh, Shirley, I’m just fed up with learning spells. I’m going to take me a vacation, but I do appreciate everything you taught me.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jeannie Ray. Nothing has change.”

I just nodded cause I knew she was going to lay her hands on Maynard and everything between them would change. I knew my spells. They really deserve each other. Both of them needed to settle down and live life together.

As for me, I took one last look at my home. Daddy wasn’t no where to been seen, but I noticed the web that spider had been spinning was blowing real nice in the breeze. She’d done moved on to better places. Who knew? We might just meet up again someplace like Asheville. I had me a hankering to become one of them actors.