Four scared children, too young for Kindergarten, sit on painted ponies near the center of a small merry-go-round. Five older children, all from the local elementary, sit on larger ponies outside the inner circle. The merry-go-round is full. It sits on a trailer, ready for the parade to start, and for the parade marshal to arrive.

IT’S PINK TOMATO FESTIVAL TIME AGAIN FOLKS. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY AS K-W-R-F IS PROUD TO BRING YOU THE PARADE – FLOAT BY FLOAT – FROM DOWNTOWN WARREN ARKANSAS!

The children look around expectantly for the man-of-the-hour to hop on the Merry-Go-Round. He’s famous around the world and coming all the way down from Little Rock.

THE MAD BUTCHER IS PROUD TO SPONSOR THE PINK TOMATO FESTIVAL PARADE ON K-W-R-F – REMEMBER – THE MAD BUTCHER – YOU’RE THE REASON WHY WE’RE HERE! “MU-WAA-HA-HA”

One of the younger children starts to cry at the sound of the mad butcher and is joined by the other three young ones as the guest of honor hops onto the float in his blue suit.

THERE HE IS FOLKS! THE ONE – THE ONLY – BOZO THE CLOWN! BOZO – AS HONORARY MARSHALL OF TODAY’S PARADE – ARE YOU READY TO BEGIN THE FUN?!

“He-he-he, Abso-te-lute-ly!” Bozo shrieks with a big red grin.

The parade starts, and worried mothers walk along with the float, as the four children on the inside continue to cry.

I cry because the Mad Butcher is lurking near. They cry because Bozo is scary. We cry because our four horses spin dizzily around the merry-go-round, but don’t go up and down.

**editor’s note: Many Arkansas children remember KARK’s Bozo, AKA Gary Weir, who has gone on to host The Oaklawn Report. So Gary’s gone from merry-go-round horses to thoroughbreds. I have a personal story about Gary Bozo which must be now written.

The All-Time Best-Loved Bozo Quote: “Do you walk to school or carry your lunch?”
Am I right guys?