Southern Legitimacy Statement:

I have lived in North Carolina all of my life. Life moves at a slower pace to keep you from being to overwhelmed. I am able to experience the Southern Hospitality on a daily basis. My best friend lives in California. The difference between our two lives is drastic. He loves coming to visit me and drinking my Sweet Tea. Every time he comes into town, he loves to hear my “southern twang.” Something I tell him I do not have.

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

I moved to the South two years ago, despite the advice of friends and family. Now I find I never want to leave. But the South showed the mark it made on my spirit the day I properly pronounced Appalachian–with a hard ch. It was the same day I smiled as I said, “Have a good day, y’all!” to my coworkers.

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

My ancestors originated from rural Alabama. My grandparents moved from Alabama when they were young to start a new life for themselves in Grantsville, Utah. Yet, no matter how happy they were with their new lives, they never stopped longing for their old home in Alabama. My dad grew up hearing tales of how everyone in the south is so friendly, the landscape is so serene, and the weather perfect. Seven years ago, when it was my family’s turn to pack up our lives and start anew we chose to move back to the South, where our ancestors lived. Though I was born in the West, my heart is and always will be in the South.

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

I was raised in North Carolina, which involves going to school, drinking sweet tea and eating fried foods. Though I still have all of my teeth and drive a Honda, I still consider myself just as southern as the stereotypical “Bubbas” you all (ya’ll?) are so familiar with. One day I hope to open a factory that manufactures flannel clothing.

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

I was born in western North Carolina, and have resided there for nearly 20 years now. Some of my earliest memories include Sunday afternoons after church at my Granny’s house with all my aunts, uncles, and cousins. These Sunday afternoons always included meals of fried chicken, collard greens, black-eyed peas, and corn bread.

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

I was born and raised in the South, and I have loved it ever since I came into this world. I can still remember sitting on my grandpa’s lap when I was a young kid, eating a piece of my grandma’s homemade peach cobbler. Those were some of the best days of my life. Below the sacred Mason-Dixon line lies a world unlike the rest of this country. The people who live under the Mason-Dixon line are some of the most friendly and caring people you will ever meet. We join together to make up what the South is known for today. The South thrives on giving, caring, and helping all those in need. I am proud to be apart of South, and all that comes with being a Southerner. We are not incompetent idiots, as most stereotypical Northerners think.. We are bright, fun-loving individuals just trying to bring a bit more happiness and respect into this country. The South shall never cease to exist because there will always been one person trying to open a door for a lady or letting a thirsty man cut in front of them for the sweet tea line. So don’t try and knock us down, we Southerners will stand proud and tall. We are not afraid to show where we came from. Long live the South!

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

My twin sister and I were the flower girls in my cousin’s wedding, and we needed dresses. those dresses are referred to as our “Generation Dresses” because my mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother all worked together to sew it. It is peach in color, of course. But, that, I believe, is what I love most about being Southern; the generations of southern families that uphold family values and standards by sharing and doing together, and never backing down to hard times. Even if it is sharing a southern dialect with such words as ‘backair’ and ‘right-cheer’, or phrases my grandfather used like, “Got ‘ny sugar to put in the bowl?’. And of course, in my family, we always correct our gossiping with “bless her heart”.

I knew I had found myself too far from home once when I went into a restaurant and ordered sweet tea, and the waitress responded, “We have peach tea.Is that what you mean?”
The slow drawl of the Tennessee will always be home, and a place I will never have to put on shoes in warm weather!

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

I think the Mule Days festival in Benson, NC is a vacation destination.

I’ve got a poem with a mule in it, and it’s the truth.

I know what “a little bit of kin” means.

I know the difference between “tickled,” “right tickled,” and “right smart tickled.”

(This one’s for my northern friends): I know that crunchy collards are an unforgivable sin. Woks and vitamins be damned. Collards should be cooked for many hours in a big, black pot, seasoned with hamhocks, fatback or both.

Likewise, squash is yellow and called squash, because it should be squashed. Or fried.

In a true Southerner’s world, nothing is mundane, and everything is a story to be reshaped and handed down for generations. If a possum crosses the road in front of your car on the way to take grandma to the toe doctor, it will turn into an adventure.

If you reject me, my great-great-great grandchildren will tell the story about how The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature not only accepted me, they erected a bronze statue in my honor, but the transcript was stolen from the internet by pirates, and the statue was destroyed during the big storm of ‘09.

My greatest goal in life is to be inducted into the Fish House Liars’ Hall of Fame.

My soul is sprinkled in the salt marshes, the sandhills, and the soft, rolling clay of North Carolina, aka Heaven.

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

My flesh is red clay,
my blood the waters of the Saluda.
My lungs are filled with cotton dust,
my belly with fried chicken, grits, cheese pie
and the best tomatoes grown anywhere.
My teeth know the stain of tobacco,
my arms the stick of its gum.
My hands work hard to control
the yearnings that callous up from inside.
In my best dreams it is always
late October in Cade’s Cove.
I was born here.
I live here still.
And I’m not sure if I’ve become the South
or the South has become me.

Editors Note:

Scott Owens was featured as Poet of the Week on the NC Poet Laureate site.

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

I met Laura at Liuzza’s:
Telemachus and Bienville.
She was eating a shrimp po-boy,
and drinking a bourbon and beer.
In the heat with the frogs croaking,
mosquitoes buzzing,
we made love
on the levy.
I married her,
and it’s decades later,
and that levy it’s broken,
and my house swept away,
but I’ll go back,
to it, someday, with Laura.

Southern Legitimacy Statement:

I am a native Alabamian, born in the wiregrass of Dale County and raised in Montgomery. I was educated at Auburn and Pepperdine. I am a university lecturer and have worked abroad for most of my teaching career. Since 1856, all Auburn students, including English majors, have been required to register for, take and pass a mandated course entitled “Fundamentals of Agriculture.” At Auburn, this is commonly called “Plowing 101.” As an Auburn alumnus (class of ’73 and ‘81), I am proud to say I passed “Plowing 101” the old-fashioned way. This should, therefore, more than satisfy the “mule” pre-condition of this journal. Moreover, I would love to elaborate on my plowing experiences at the “Loveliest Village of the Plain” and to expatiate more upon how this time spent behind a mule, this vital training at a great Southern university, more than prepared me for further graduate study and university life in California, with all its various and sundry extra-curricular activities, but my mother will probably read all this; so, as a true Southern gentleman, I must respectfully decline. God Bless, War Eagle and I hope I pass the audition.

In its May 2009 issue, the Dead Mule is proud to present several student poems. Thanks to poet Scott Owens Of Catawba County Community College for making these poets and poems available to us.