2016 Submissions are open for the Twentieth Anniversary Year of the Mule.
The Dead Mule School celebrates 20 years online in 2016. We’re pretty pleased with ourselves, yes we are, and would love it if you would join us in our celebration by sending us a bit of your writing to grace our hallways. Just like Miss Edna Tischner, our very first kindergarten teacher, we will tape the student’s work on the wall along the hallway. For the first Open House, we’ll post Poetry, Fiction, and Essays on the wall just to the left of the library door.
The school building itself, as you can see, fell into a state of disrepair way back around, oh, 1875 or so, but hell, Miss Lucy Flatterbanks kept it open as long as the Colonel’s money held out. Her grandaddy was a Colonel in the War of 1812, you see. Not that “other war”. The School languished for many decades as a literary academy with hardly any faculty and a decidedly not rigorous course of study for its many lackluster students. Oh my, Miss Val, but you do go on…
The Reunion for Graduates and All Friends Under Consideration shall be held sometime next year. Right now, you are here with us and for that we are grateful. Thankful. Amen.
The Reunion Committee Welcomes Your Input.
It’s not too late to plan…
Please feel free to post your celebratory activity suggestions on our Facebook page.
Ideas currently under consideration include:
1. A celebratory weekend centered on the traditional Anniversary of Something That Happened So Long Ago Everyone Has Forgotten What It Was which is traditionally held Somewhere We Usually Go And We Forgot When It Became Our Favorite Place To Go.
2. A Happenstance and Coincidence Evening Author’s Handshake Celebration
3. A mutually agreed upon Chicken-Tickling Day celebrated with Gremlins, Gnomes, Fairies, and Pixies out at Lake Wedoneit.
4. A Door-Banging and Window-Tapping Conference
5. Wish-Granting Championships
6. Selling of Cartoon Balloons All Day (with Levon)Anyone wishing to contribute ideas, party hats, balloons, a venue, or other celebratory exhibition picnic functional days, please contact us at a location to be divulged only when one shows the secret symbolic gesture of Mule Fealty.
“I have found that anything that comes out of the South is going to be called grotesque by the Northern reader, unless it is grotesque, in which case it is going to be called realistic.”
— Flannery O’Connor
from her 1960 essay, Some Aspects of the Grotesque in Southern Fiction.
Let us all consider the Mule in southern fiction and bless them every one.
What to do with a dead mule…
If you have a dead mule, do not suffer it to pollute the atmosphere by drawing it away to the woods, or any other out-of-the-way place, but remove it a short distance only from your premises, and put down four or five loads of muck or sods, place the carcass thereon and sprinkle it over with quick lime, and cover immediately with sods or mould sufficient to make, with what had been previously added, twenty good wagon-loads; and you will have within twelve months a pile of manure worth $20 for any crop you choose to put it on.
If any dogs manifests too great a regard for the enclosed carcass, shoot them on the spot.
–adapted from a 1895 treatise on manure